Text excerpts
Impressum
This book is based on the 2022 in German published title 'Die Wanderung des älteren Herrn' by the same author.
This version, written in American English, was prompted by the author's conversations with his two sons and English-speaking friends.
Please note: English is not the author's native language.
The original version has been shortened and streamlined. End notes were added to make the text more accessible.
The book contains the actual description of the trip, socially critical provocations, challenging ideas and daring personal theses.
Expressions like foreign words, reflections, ambiguity, irony, and provocative statements are kept between apostrophes to highlight their significance in the narrative. This stylistic choice adds depth and nuance to the text, inviting readers to engage with the ideas presented.
The services from Google and Wikipedia were much appreciated. The help from Grammarly, LanguageTool, and ProWritingAid was pertinent.
The author extends his heartfelt gratitude to his partner, Germain, for her unwavering patience and attentive listening.
Text and cover:
Hans Bodmer
Copyrights
Hans Bodmer
Publisher Hans Bodmer
Index.
Vision/Prologue.
Day 1: Zurich - ‘Grapingen ’- Baldegg - Schinznach.
Day 2: Schinznach - Aarau - Schönenwerd - Olten.
Day 3: Olten - ‘Southwall’ - Kappel’ - Egerkingen.
Day 4: Egerkingen - Oensingen - Attisholz - Solothurn.
Day 5: Solothurn - Grenchen - ’Slutigen’ - Biel.
Day 6: Biel - ‘IT Valley’ - ‘Petri-Heil’ – ‘Saint Bluff’.
Day 7: ‘Saint Bluff’ - ‘Horgen’ - Neuchatel - ‘Eden sur Lac’.
Day 8: ‘Eden sur Lac’ - ‘Karlstadt’ - ‘Nobruegge’ - Orbe.
Day 9: Orbe - ‘Poste’ - La Sallaz - ‘Massacre’ - Lavigny.
Day 10: Lavigny - Signal de Bougie - ‘Orage’ - Dullier.
Day 11: Dullier - ‘Paradies’ - ‘Puzzle’ - Ferney-Voltaire.
Day 12: Ferney-Voltaire - ‘Havana’– Café de la Place.
People involved.
The Author.
.
People involved.
The elderly gentleman, the ‘crazy’ Hans.
Gabriel, his guardian angel.
The devil.
Day 1:
1. The pastor in ‘Grapingen’.
2. The friendly lady at the Baldegg.
3. The two boys with their skateboards in Birr.
4. The evil Valkyrie with the vinegar bottle.
Day 2:
5. The competent waitress in Schinznach.
6. The unfriendly dog owner lady at the Aare River.
7. The sad lady in Schönenwerd.
Day 3:
8. The Hunchback of Notre Dame in Olten.
9. The junior soccer players near Egerkingen.
10. The beauty at the company’s party.
11. Beni National, the TV sports reporter.
Day 4:
12. The pastor and the lady in black in the back seat.
13. The campsite warden in Solothurn.
14. The naked ballerina under the shower.
Day 5:
15. The brutal waiter at the five-star restaurant.
16. The wealthy, gracious lady in the Rolls-Royce.
17. ‘Greti’, the slut from the railway station pub.
18. The lady from the air traffic control with the red rose.
Day 6:
19. Kunigunde, the long dryness of the Old Testament.
20. The voiceless saleswoman in the self-service store.
21. The quirky landlady in Nidau.
22. Pierre, the social dropout.
23. The admirable, friendly, and lovely lady at the kiosk in nowhere.
24. The bad, lousy hotelier and informer.
Day 7:
25. Two incompetent crime police officers.
26. The slut 'Greti'. Now, as Margaretha and future Dr. Phil.
27 Australian teens on an adventure trip in western Switzerland.
28. Mrs. Holle, the motherly fairy tale lady.
Day 8:
29. The incarnation of Gilberte de Courgenay.
30. Roughneck Rübezahl with his fence post.
31. The disbelieving landlady of a failing hotel.
32. Liz Tailor, who got lost in a provincial town.
Day 9:
32. Inspector Pelier, the friendly police officer.
33. The motorcycle-riding innkeeper Jean-Claud.
34. The baroness with the violet Peugeot cabriolet and in black nightwear.
Day 10:
35. The drunk racing cyclists.
36. Socrates on the tractor.
Day 11:
37. The friendly, helpful boy with the Appenzeller dog.
38. General Guisan. Out of service.
39. Maria Stuart and her maid.
40. Puzzle-solving aristocratic children.
41. Mere Royaume’s sister and her husband.
Day: 12:
42. The suspicious, seductively sexy, pretty lady at the four-star hotel.
43. The most beautiful of all ladies in this world: Juliette
Vision/Prologue.
At first, it was just a vague vision. This vision increasingly became a fixed idea that followed an inner compulsion. Would the idea become a reality?
Yes. The older gentleman hikes from Zurich-Affoltern to Meyrin, Geneva, in the shortest possible way, preferably on hiking trails. Which in and of itself is paradoxical.
He had done the Zurich-Geneva route so many times before. Also, of course, in the other direction.
• By train, mainly with the Intercity Express.
• By airplane: Douglas DC-6 to DC-10, Boeing 727 and higher models. If possible, with Swissair. That was before the company's grounding .
• By car: with the Triumph Spitfire, the VW Variant, the Ford Taurus, the Ford Granada, and the Chrysler Vision.
So, the Zurich-Geneva route is worn out. Something else was needed to make the adrenaline flow in powerful yet calm streams. One day, he realized that there must be something else behind sound-absorbing walls, bushes, and house facades—something like love, hope, and joy. Unfortunately, it could also be hate, fear, and suffering.
Is there anything extraordinary in Switzerland's overpopulated, hilly, middle European territory? Could lovely, pleasant, curious, funny, or absurd events exist?
Could he explore an unknown world at a walking pace, stress-free? He would use profile shoe soles instead of Michelin, Goodyear, or Bridgestone tires. He could walk light-footed instead of having a foot push the gas pe-dal. Not only that, but he could admire the surroundings instead of staring at the car’s bumpers ahead of him.
As a side effect, questions that are highly unimportant for survival, such as the following, could also be answered:
• Is there a path, a small street, or a full-blown road between the steep hill in front of Olten, where the train to Bern cuts a daring curve before passing through the rail yard and the Aare?
• How many army trucks can be parked on the right side of the freeway near Wangen an der Aare, aligned with precision, and at a minimum distance?
• Could an Airbus A380 make an emergency landing at Grenchen Air-port?
• Is the brilliant idea of carving a canal from Orbe to Lausanne, allowing multimillionaires to rally with their racing boats from Hamburg to Monaco a good idea?
• How far above Rolle is Mont-sur-Rolle, and does as much wine grow there as is drunk in Zurich?
The questions concerning geography and other realities would undoubtedly be solved.
And those that are much more important to him? The ones that concern the 'untouchable', such as the 'spirit', the soul, the good God, and, of course, the evil devil?
Barely! Fantasies and illusions will compete. Puns, common sayings, quotes, and proverbs will chase each other. There will be many question marks and, likewise, exclamation marks.
Many ambiguous, invented, and provocative expressions must be enclosed between apostrophes.
He must be more than just slightly disturbed. Only a half-crazy person could think of walking from Zurich to Geneva.
Expected time: a maximum of two weeks. Budget target: maximum one thousand Swiss francs.
He wasn't always such an uncompromising marcher, or, as they say in German, ‘Wandersmann’. In school, he loved school trips and holiday hikes more than anything. It brought variety to the dreary everyday lives of people with low incomes.
His more or less regular jogging made his muscles ridged. He jogged about ten kilometers on the tartan track in front of the house or around the nearby small lake. These exercises resulted in his current 76 kg and 178 cm physical dimensions. He should be able to bear the moderate-to-severe exertion to come.
He is old and has to fight his age. What bothers him? It is not the money for his existence, which is secured thanks to AHV and other pillars. Today, he wonders why a vote had to be taken to introduce the AHV in 1947. Who could have been against it?
He has everything he needs, and he earned it himself. He adds up his contributions and those of his employers, plus the interest and compound interest, plus the gain made with the invested capital. The resulting sum is enough to guarantee him an adequate standard of living until age 80. So, he is not a social parasite, as is often said when the AHV is discussed.
So, what's troubling him? He is, as one says, a deserving pensioner. There's no shame in no longer being a cog in the 'gross social production machine'.
But it raises the question: What else is he here for on earth? Doesn't the reason to live cease after the first commandment in the Bible has been obeyed?
Be fruitful and multiply; subdue nature and animals... (Genesis 1:28)
In his opinion, the Lord was most likely a little tired on Saturday. Is, what was created on his last day at work really beyond any doubt? Is it the ‘Crown of Creation’?
His thoughts frequently wander from the Big Bang, over the single-celled organism, to ‘Homo sapiens’ (Latin for wise men) and beyond. What will follow?
Something better, something fairer? Is this just one of his many illusions?
Without illusions, life becomes an existence. (Mark Twain )
The most critical question in life is: What is its meaning and purpose? Will that question ever be answered? Here are two suggestions:
The meaning of life is to enjoy it. (Author unknown)
Let us eat and drink; we will die in the morning. (1. Corinthians 15:32)
The Bible says so, but certainly not as a commandment. When certain statements in the Bible are taken out of their context, they can be massively abused.
So, instead of enjoying life, why the torture of walking from Zurich to Geneva?
• In the rain, through the dust of the construction sites?
• Going up and down the stony and slippery hiking trails?
• To search, dead tired, for accommodation every day, like Maria and Joseph once did?
• To hope to find a place to sit, even if it's just a decent tree trunk?
• Why will he take all those risks?
The hike will certainly not be risky. Going astray and wandering for 40 years through the desert like the Israelites did is unlikely. There are signs everywhere, although some are no longer legible because they haven't been serviced for a long time, or point to stylish, romantic paths, which are detours for him. The area to be hiked through is fertile, subsidized, and somewhat green between the buildings. Water is always available.
Also, why not tackle the challenge?
Hiking is the miller's delight. (from a hiking song)
You don't have to be a miller; even a trained mechanic enjoys hiking. And above all, he has time, which is no longer money for him. He has more time than money.
Now, he goes to bed without having the usual cigar and beer. He has to be fit tomorrow. Up to now, there were just words.
Day 12: Ferney-Voltaire - ‘Davidoff’ - Café de la Place.
He wakes up by a loud babble of voices. It's coming from the same voices as yesterday evening. They probably rambled all night long. They didn't need sleep because they don't work. Don’t they find a job or are they not allowed to work?
Whatever, it's not his problem. Or is it? He is a human, and emigration is of humanity’s concern. Solution: Distribute all the goods on earth evenly. Point.
Even on the last day, he can't help but be provocative.
Today’s shaving must be done particularly precisely and cleanly. Why? A beautiful lady might give him the hardly earned victory kiss.
Which lady? He met many, mostly dressed in black. Which one would he like most? Good question, but it is an entirely unnecessary one. Margaretha and Mrs. Holle are miles away.
The weather is not dressed in black. He doesn't care about it; a three-hour walk can be done regardless of any meteorological phenomenon.
It is only half past nine, so he is early enough for the croissants. He now enjoys them in the garden with strong black coffee. An unforeseen but realistic vacation day is coming up.
First, he has to pay for the night. The bearded ‘Maître d’Hotel’ sits bored behind the counter in the entrance hall. As usual, he shows his crumpled, worn-out golden Mastercard to pay the hotel bill.
Grumpy grunts, accompanied by violent head shaking, are the response to his gesture:
«No, not here!»
Once again, good advice is expensive. He has no euros and only a few Swiss francs in his wallet.
There will surely be a bank here. He is near Switzerland. He explains to the landlord that he has to get money.
Again, an enormous suspicious face stares at him, and he is commanded to leave his backpack here as a deposit.
After a few hundred meters is a building marked 'Credit Lyonnais'. This seems to be a bank. A big sheet at the door says:
Closed from 1100h. to 1400h.
This looks very familiar, but there is an ATM. His blue bank card is not accepted, so he must use the credit card. Cash withdrawals by credit cards are more profitable for money dealers because customers pay them a hefty treatment fee.
How many euros should he lure out? Better enough, you never know. With two hundred euros, he should be on the safe side.
It is market day in Ferney-Voltaire. So, why not look around? He now has cash and might find a bargain.
He finds no bargains and nothing of interest.
But he encounters, no, not a lady in black, but an elegant house with an even more sleek shop on the first floor: a 'Vinothek' .
He examines the articles in the show window. The selection is very tempting. It is customary to bring back a souvenir from a trip or vacation. He could bring a gift to somebody, for example, to Mrs. Holle. He can't bring her flowers because she has a beautiful garden, but he could get her a bottle of wine.
For Margaretha, it will definitely be a lavish bouquet of fresh red roses.
A 'Volnay' , vintage 2005, seduces him so much that he buys a bottle.
Twenty-nine euros, more or less, doesn’t matter. He will, anyway, soon be bankrupt.
The wine is packed in a paper bag with the shop’s name in large gold letters.
He hurries back to the ‘Pension des Philosophes’. The owner is standing under the door. As he reads the writing on the wine bag, he forgets to swallow and doesn’t say a word.
A fifty euro note and a few coins are thrown onto the sticky bar counter. The man simply shifts the money away without handing him a receipt.
He starts the final stage by following the main street and, as always, walks westwards. It's oppressively humid, and he can't see the sky. He feels good; he has 300 kilometers behind him. The few to come will be a pleasure.
He is very near the airport here. Switzerland lacks space for its dimensions, so the larger part of the airport is in France. Not even the constant loud noise caused by the starting airplanes can spoil his good mood. He feels like being an airplane that takes off for paradise. He is ready for it, relaxed, healthy, and has a clean conscience.
Oh, something very significant needs to be added to complete the party. To crown the celebration, he will enjoy a mighty cigar.
Doesn't he deserve it? For some people: Yes. For others: No.
This reminds him that he doesn't have anything to smoke with him. There is no possibility of getting cigars until Meyrin. And there, they only sell the cheap brands he usually smokes. Today, there must be something far better. It must cost at least twenty euros a piece!
He looks in all directions to find a cigar shop. In vain, then he is here far away from any shopping center.
The one who seeks will find. (a saying)
Found!
A few hundred meters to the left is a large, two-story high concrete building: a modern, fancy four-star hotel.
He enters it. The entrance hall is air-conditioned, bright, and elegant. Nobody can be seen. Several square columns with mirrors on all four sides are in there.
Accidentally, he glances at one, and with astonishment, he sees the following:
Standing upright, he looks dazzling.
• With a sun-kissed face.
• Freshly dresses.
• Standing upright.
• With a slim, sporty figure.
• With fat-free arms and legs.
He looks like a professional tennis player, soccer hero, ski instructor, movie star, cowboy, or something similar. Those who are known to be the idols of women.
But, unfortunately, there are no ladies present.
A considerable souvenir, newspaper, and tobacco shop stretches along the teak wall. Newspapers in all possible languages and with the usual provocative headlines are neatly laid out.
In this fancy place, they will undoubtedly sell high-class cigars. On this lazy afternoon, no visitors are expected, so nobody is behind the counter.
But now he's being noticed. An elegantly dressed lady in a black trouser suit, white blouse, and high heels rushes at him:
«What do you want?»
The expression on her face shows that she wants to send him to the devil.
In this situation, the IWC would be highly justified. But the watch is in Eden-sur-Lac.
A lightning idea pops up! He takes the golden Master Card from his wallet and hands it to her.
«Do you accept this?»
After a strict look at him, she nods. Without twitching with his facial muscles, he orders three Cuban Cohiba Robusto .
This completely embarrasses her
«We don't sell Cuban cigars; we're an American hotel chain!»
Her tone is poisonous.
He replies:
«Do you have equal-quality cigars?»
He would have loved to continue teasing her, but she obviously doesn't want to be teased, so she abruptly turns away.
«Please don’t leave. Please give me three Davidoff Coronas.».
That sudden decision was triggered by the cigar of the month advertisement posted on the cash register. The introduction price is five euros per piece.
The lady opens the humidor with a disdainful expression on her face. Three brown sticks are carefully taken from a wooden box. Her skillfully red-colored fingertips handle him a tiny pack with exceptionally long matches:
«They are for free.»
his is truly grateful, so he thanks.
His credit card is swiped through the credit card reader. Her heavily enhanced black eyebrows monitor everything cautiously. The liberating rustle caused by the printer printing the receipt calms her inner life. She now smiles. The red on her lips and the seductive scent of expensive perfumes trigger enormous serotonin shuts.
«Come on, Hans, don't let yourself be diverted from the path of virtue on the final stretch!»
The ‘shortcut’ through France is now ‘history’. He is at the border near Mategnin.
On the French side, there is only a tiny wooden barrack, which once was the customs house.
On the Swiss side, there is a stately, flat, and proud office building. There is nobody in there. The only living creature here is a black cat. She's lying lazily on the hot tin roof .
He passes the tin roof and is back in his home country. The grass is not greener here than on the other side of the border.
He will not take a coffee in the restaurant de Mategnin to his right. He is not even glancing at the pretty waitress in the garden.
He is getting closer to the village. Big apartment blocks, school buildings, and a soccer field are passed before he arrives at the church.
On the tree next to the school building, he can see two black heavily fighting crows.
Are they the cranes of Ibycus ? Or the ravens of holy Saint Meinrad ?
They must be from Meinrad; Einsiedeln is closer to Meyrin than Greece. What omen is the presence of black crows?.
He would like to know this because he will soon call two fabulous ladies: Margaretha and Mrs. Holle.
Near the soccer field is an old-fashioned telephone cabin.
Great! He collects all the coins left in his wallet and counts them. It should be enough for the two urgent calls. He finds Margaretha's visit card in the breast pocket. With trembling fingers, he drops some coins into the apparatus and dials the number. It rings at the other end of the connection.
The call is immediately answered:
«Hans, I'm so happy; I've been waiting for your call all afternoon.»
Hearing something like that is fantastic; her fine, feminine voice brings a powerful boost of happiness. He is unable to say a word.
«Are you still here?»
She sounds worried.
He is only partially here and out of control. He whispers:
«I love you!»
He never thought he would ever whisper this most misused of all sentences again.
«Dear Margaretha, Sorry, I'm in a telephone box! I will call you tomorrow. When is the best time?»
«Always!»
End of the conversation.
Is this the beginning of an entirely different kind of 'connection'? In this illusion, he hears Gabriel say:
«Hans, you're in love!»
Gabriel is right. But with whom? Margaretha or Mrs. Holle?
There are a few coins left, enough for the last call. It's the same 'procedure' as just before.
She is also seemingly drilled to hear him. Again, he has to explain why the conversation is so short and that he will call her tomorrow for a more intensive chat.
He hangs up, this time without saying:
«I love you.»
As if in a daze, he staggers into the garden.
Now, this is the incredible moment he has waited for since Zurich. He elderly gentleman made it from Zurich to Geneva in twelve days.it!.
He steps into the garden and shouts:
«Madame, une Canette !»
But nothing is happening!!! There are no souls nor tables in the garden. The entrance door is blocked with massive wooden blocks. The place in front of the house is littered with rocks, wooden boards, and construction tools. At the locked door hangs a large piece of cardboard. On it is written in trembling, shaky red letters:
Due to renovations, the restaurant will remain closed until further notice!!!
A world collapses! The worst of all catastrophes has hit.
«Gabriel, what did I do to deserve this?»